Smiling depression: what is it and what are the signs?

Depression can bring feelings of confusion, guilt and shame that can lead people to mask their symptoms. This is what’s known as ‘smiling depression’.

In this article, we’ll discuss what smiling depression is, what the signs are, and what might be causing it.

What is smiling depression?

While smiling depression isn’t a clinical diagnosis, or acknowledged medically as a type of depression, it’s a phenomenon that’s experienced by many people struggling with depression.

Smiling depression occurs when people mask the symptoms of depression they’re experiencing. They might appear happy and smiley on the outside, but on the inside, they are suffering with typical symptoms of depression. Often, people will intentionally try to smile, and appear happy and upbeat when they’re feeling depressed in order to hide their true feelings, hoping to convince the people around them that they’re OK.

Outside of their general appearance and behaviour, it’s likely that many central areas of their life will also appear stable. Their performance at work may be of a good standard, their relationships seem healthy and they may maintain an active social life.

Given the nature of smiling depression, it can be challenging for people to notice depression in a loved one, especially if they appear to be happy on the outside. When they’re asked what depression looks and feels like, most people will think of someone who’s clearly sad, unhappy, and tearful.

While all of the above are common symptoms of depression, it doesn’t mean everyone experiences it in this way. Some may be hiding their true feelings and compensate for that by looking happy in the presence of other people. Others may not even be aware that what they’re experiencing is depression, and therefore may not appear overly depressed to outsiders.

Symptoms of smiling depression

Typically, people experiencing depression will have intense feelings of sadness for prolonged periods. However, people with smiling depression will take extra steps to hide these kinds of feelings from friends and family. This can make it a challenge for others to observe depression in their loved one.

In these circumstances, it’s important to gain a greater understanding of the more subtle or less obvious signs of depression. These can include things like:

• Changes in appetite: it’s common for people with mental health issues like depression to experience fluctuations in their eating habits. This could work either way, resulting in a dramatic increase or decrease in appetite
• Changes in sleep pattern: depression can result in a big shift in your sleep patterns and quality. Some people might find it  difficult to get out of bed in the morning, wanting to continue sleeping for long periods. Others will struggle to sleep at all, developing insomnia
• Negative emotions: people with depression will commonly feel, or express, a sense of hopelessness, guilt and/or worthlessness

It may be that the person with depression doesn’t show these signs and symptoms while they’re with other people. While this does make it difficult to recognise depression in someone, being aware of some of the less well-known symptoms can help you recognise when a loved one might be struggling. Similarly, if you’re the one who finds yourself putting on a ‘brave face’ or masking your true feelings, raising your awareness of the other signs of depression can help you to gain a greater understanding of what you might be going through.

Why do people smile through depression?

It’s normal for people to feel the urge to hide their depression. Mental health is personal to all of us, and there may be a number of factors contributing to someone wanting to mask  their depression.
It’s important to note here that, no matter your personal experience, accepting that you’re not OK is a brave step – it’s not a weakness and there’s nothing to be ashamed about. However, here are some of the thought process people might engage in that leads them to keep their depression secret:

Perception around weakness

Unfortunately, stigma around mental health is still present in society. Some people think that having depression is a sign of weakness, that it’s something you should be able to ‘snap out of’, or that everyone experiences it so you should just be able to get over it. These outdated perceptions of mental health can hold people back, leading to embarrassment and shame, which means they stay silent about what they’re going through instead of getting the help they need.

Not wanting to be a burden

In many people, there’s a strong sense of not wanting to burden other people with your problems. To some, asking for help is a big step – even in many small day-to-day matters. When it comes to mental health, the sense of burdening someone else is only heightened.

There may also be professional and personal issues at play that make this worse. You might feel guilty as your team is currently going through a busy time at work. You might have small children to look after and don’t want to increase the burden on your loved ones. The threat of personal and professional repercussions can prove to be a strong reason for remaining silent with depression.

Denial

Smiling depression could be a sign that the person is in denial about their mental health struggles. They might convince themselves that if they appear happy, social and energetic (even if this is only in public), then there can’t be anything wrong, and their feelings inside are insignificant or a passing phase.

It can also be more comforting, at least in the short-term, to deny there’s a broader issue, leading some people to continue masking their depression and refusing to open up.

Not wanting to complain/a sense of guilt

If you live a relatively comfortable lifestyle with a stable job and loving family, you might feel that you have no reason, or right, to feel depressed. People in many different circumstances will be able to think of people who have it worse than them, and that sense of guilt can lead people to remain silent about their feelings.

Social media

Social media can play a significant role in people hiding their mental health issues. If you scroll through your feed, it’s easy to get the impression that everyone else has the perfect life. This can fuel a sense of isolationism, or a need to portray a sense that you’re also happy and thriving in your life. Ultimately, this could lead to someone burying their true feelings and not opening up.

Reaching out to someone with smiling depression

Given the nature of smiling depression, people experiencing it can be at heightened risk of suicide. If people around them aren’t aware of their struggles, it can be difficult to for them to get the support they need. If you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, or are worried that someone might be a danger to themselves, consider reaching out for crisis support – which is available immediately to those who need it.

If you’re concerned that someone you care about has smiling depression, it’s important that  you consider sharing your concerns with them. Normalising mental health conversations can help all of us feel more comfortable about sharing how we truly feel. Just be sure to approach this conversation with compassion and care.

Similarly, if you feel like you have smiling depression, try opening up to someone you trust and sharing how you feel. You might be surprised to learn that your loved one had been worried about you all along, and unburdening yourself from  dealing with depression alone can be incredibly helpful in overcoming it.

Find more helpful information on these topics here:

• How to help someone with depression
• How to tell someone you have depression