Tips for staying sober
Manage your recovery with these self-help tips for sobriety.
Even with the support of family and friends, staying sober is never easy. Recovery from alcohol or drug addiction is a lifelong process with many challenges along the way. Sometimes, it might seem like riding out the tough moments is impossible, especially during major events like Christmas or a friend’s birthday. Thankfully, there are strategies you can put in place to help you manage your sobriety.
Our addiction treatment team at Priory Hospital Woking have put together practical tips to help make staying sober easier. If you find yourself drawn to temptation, remember, it's possible to enjoy yourself while embracing a life of recovery.
Adopt some of these tips and celebrate your life of sobriety – it’s something to be proud of.
How to stay sober
There's no one-size-fits-all solution to staying sober. What works for some, won't work for others. The more strategies you have in place to recognise addiction symptoms or potential triggers, and deal with them, the more equipped you’ll be to enjoy your life of sobriety and avoid a relapse.
Be realistic
It’s important to have a realistic attitude about the potential for anxiety or conflict. It’s inevitable that you'll have difficult periods and increased stress levels that can lead to greater temptation. What’s important is planning the support you need and the strategies you’ll adopt to come out stronger the other side.
Recognise your triggers
Whether your triggers are stress, frustration, fear, anxiety or depression, or are environmental, like being around certain people and places, stay mindful. Check in with yourself emotionally and prioritise your self-care.
Use your support network
Your family, friends and fellowship peers all want you to get through any difficulties and stay clean, safe and sober - so let them help you. Stay in touch with people, either over the phone, over a video chat or face-to-face. Make a list of 10 people you can call, including your sponsor. Keep your list with you at all times and try to chat with at least one person a day.
Say 'no'
Be selective of who you accept invitations from - you’ll know which social groups are appropriate and which ones aren't. If you've said ‘yes’ to something but then don’t feel up to it, it’s okay to say you can’t attend. Now you’re sober and are connecting with your gut instincts again, check in with yourself and your peers, and go with that feeling.
Know your limits
Especially around busy periods like Christmas, your to-do list can become even longer and people seem to ask more of you, whether it’s shopping, decorating or cooking. Set realistic expectations for yourself and other people. Don’t be afraid to set healthy boundaries and again, say no if it’s best for your wellbeing.
If you do begin to feel overwhelmed, break the day into manageable chunks - an afternoon, an hour, or even 5 minutes. Whatever it takes to help you de-stress and remain in control.
Write out a daily gratitude list
A quick tip to help soothe a stressful day is to put things into perspective - count your blessings and be grateful for what you have. Express thanks or simply hand out a compliment to someone you know. It all has a way of lifting others’ spirits, and your own in the process.
Avoid HALT (Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired)
If you’re hungry, get something to eat. If you’re angry, irritable or frustrated, reach out and talk to someone about it. If you’re lonely, attend a meeting or call a peer. If you’re tired, get a good night’s sleep.
Any of the four pillars of HALT can lead to you taking actions you might later regret. If you feel any of these triggers coming on, lean on your support network and reduce your symptoms. It’ll quickly nip any issues in the bud and before you know it, you’ll be right back on track.
Stay away from social media
Take a break from social media with a digital detox. When you're on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram, it’s easy to begin comparing your life to others, which can quickly lead to depression and resentment.
Keep a dry house
Empty your house of alcohol and harmful substances. When you’re around friends and family for social occasions, it can sometimes feel like alcohol is everywhere, which is why it’s more important than ever to have a safe, substance-free place you can retreat to.
Attend 12-step fellowship meetings
Many groups have special meetings during the holidays to share their experiences, strength and hope. Check when meetings are running and make it a priority to head down. It’s amazing how much better you’ll feel after meeting likeminded people who know exactly what you’re going through. Remember, you're not alone.
Plan every day
Make a regular plan to get you through each week or month. Organise your days and plan to spend time with friends and family who are supportive of your recovery.
Create new traditions and replace old patterns
If you’re newly sober, discover new activities that are enjoyable to participate in without having to consume addictive substances or use addictive behaviours. Buy a new board game, start playing a new sport, try a new restaurant, start enjoying nature, or start a completely new tradition with your friends or family.
Have an exit plan at social events
If you're attending social gatherings, plan ahead and take your own non-alcoholic beverages. Have an exit plan in case you start to feel uncomfortable, especially if there are triggers present. Drive your car if you can, have taxi numbers if you can’t, and let people know you may have to leave early.
Remember, your wellbeing and safety is paramount. Don’t consider any social pressures - you don't have to stay in a place if you don’t feel comfortable.
Live one day at a time and enjoy your sobriety
Above all else - stay in the moment and live one day at a time. Don’t worry about what has happened or what could happen. Be proud of your achievements, enjoy today and celebrate your sobriety.
Staying sober at Christmas
The month of December is likely your most challenging period. Staying sober is especially hard over Christmas, as indulgence is encouraged in wider society, and stress levels increase from all the shopping, cold weather and socialising. Many of the tips above apply all year round, including during the festive period, but there are other things you can do to make sure you remain abstinent and look after yourself at Christmas.
- Bring your own soft drinks: If you're heading to a friends house for a social event, take your own soft drinks. If you're heading to your work Christmas party, check ahead and make sure that soft drinks will also be on the house, and if not, take some along with you
- Suggest alcohol-free locations: Pubs and restaurants are the first place we head for a get together, but if you're in control of organising everything, suggest a house (it could even be your own) where you might be less tempted to drink
- Schedule in extra fellowship meetings: Fellowships tend to put on extra meetings over the Christmas period, helping to support those in need. Attend an extra session or two so you can keep reaffirming those key thoughts and strategies for sobriety
- Keep busy: For most of us, this is likely not an issue. Christmas is an incredibly busy time already, and this can be a good thing. If you're spending Christmas alone, try to get out of the house and keep busy. Loneliness might lead to a downturn in your mood, triggering you to drink
- Try to avoid family rows: One of Christmas' strongest traditions, the family row, can raise stress levels and make you want a drink. Sometimes it's easier said than done, but try not to get into any arguments around the Christmas dinner table
