"You’ll lose everything if you carry on"

I’d always been a ‘party animal’ - right back from my youth, alcohol had always been a part of my life. My drinking picked up when I was at university, and then I started a professional career that gave me a good disposable income, which meant I could afford to drink regularly. 

When COVID-19 hit, I was offered redundancy after 30 years’ service, which I accepted. It was then that my drinking spiralled. I had nothing else to do, so I began drinking excessively on a daily basis. I could see that my addiction was having an impact on the relationships I had with my family. My behaviour towards my loved ones was unacceptable, and my children and other family members started avoiding me. I felt consumed by my addiction. 

I finally accepted I had a problem when I realised I couldn’t function in my day-to-day life without drinking. I tried to stop a few times, but couldn’t. The final straw came when I had a car accident while under the influence of alcohol, and was later charged with drinking driving. I knew I needed help.

Throughout everything, my wife has been my rock. She helped me explore options for treatment. We looked at the NHS to begin with, but nothing was coming to fruition, so we agreed to consider private options, and Priory was our preferred choice.

Coming into treatment was really daunting – I’d never done anything like this before. I didn’t realise that the point of addiction treatment is to help you to be abstinent for life. I thought I’d receive treatment so I could come back into the world and be able to drink socially. This isn’t the case at all and the thought of giving up drinking for life was quite overwhelming.

During my first few days at Priory Hospital Altrincham, I felt ashamed of myself and I didn’t want to leave my room. I didn’t see how being in a mental health hospital was going to help me, and I thought the whole thing was going to be really boring. That couldn’t have been further from the truth.

The group therapy was incredibly helpful. Building relationships and sharing my experiences with other people was invaluable to me. I was fortunate to have people in my groups that were from similar walks of life to me, and this was a massive help because it meant we could all really relate to each other’s experiences. Following discharge, I’ve stayed in contact with the people in my group – we met for a 6-month reunion and we’re meeting up again soon for our 12-month anniversary of completing the addiction treatment programme. All of us have stayed sober this entire time, which we’re incredibly proud of.

The team at Priory are all very special. Not only do they have expertise and experience, but they really do care for every single person they support. The structure of the programme broke me into pieces – I’ve never felt more vulnerable or ‘laid bare’. But it also helped me to rebuild myself with the strength and confidence I needed to beat this disease. I’m now able to deal with the bad decisions I made in the past and the carnage I caused in my life, without getting stressed or angry.

Ten months on from discharge, I feel physically healthy, mentally alert and most importantly, spiritually supported. The 12 steps are so powerful and having the ‘1 day at a time’ mind-set has been life-changing. I’ve joined a fantastic Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) group in my home town and have a sponsor who’s supported me since my discharge. I really want to use my experiences to help others in the future.

There are issues from my past, caused at the height of my addiction, which I’m still having to confront. However, the difference is that I’m now able to face them pragmatically, without using them as an excuse to drink. I wouldn’t have been able to deal with these challenges previously and it’s likely they would have just worsened my addiction.

Addiction is evil, and unfortunately, most people only get help when they hit ‘rock bottom’. If I could give one piece of advice to someone else who’s struggling, I’d say reach out for support sooner rather than later. Trust me, I know from experience. You’ll lose everything if you carry on.

During the 28 days I spent at Priory, they helped me to admit I had an addiction and I needed to be open, honest and most importantly, willing to change my life. The acceptance of addiction was a massive step for me, and now I'm back in the 'real world', the challenge is to stay sober. With the support of my family, sponsor and my AA fellowship, I feel like I'm living again.