How to act when someone comes home from rehab
Discover practical ways to welcome your loved one home from rehab, supporting their recovery and managing expectations for a smoother transition.
Addiction recovery is an ongoing journey, and your support after rehab can be incredibly valuable – offering encouragement and understanding, while also giving your loved one the space to take ownership of their progress.
Here, we provide some tips to help you create a supportive environment at home, helping your loved one to continue getting better when they leave rehab.
What to say when someone comes home from rehab
Communicating effectively with a loved one who’s just returned from rehab is really important. Here are some examples of the things you can say to be encouraging and understanding, and the kinds of things you may want to avoid saying.
What to do when someone comes home from rehab
As your loved one returns from rehab, it’s important to remember that supporting them isn’t just about the words you use; it’s also about actions. Here are some practical things you can do to support your loved one upon their return.
Practical actions to support recovery
Helping your loved one look after their physical health can have a positive effect on their overall wellbeing. You could support them by getting involved in healthy habits together – like regular exercise, eating well, and building a consistent sleep routine.
It’s also important to support them in making time for their aftercare groups, 12-step meetings and therapy. These programmes provide emotional support and a sense of community, helping them maintain their abstinence.
Acknowledging progress can boost your loved one’s self-esteem and emphasise the importance of their journey.
Creating a safe space for open communication can help them feel comfortable opening up. Find time for you both to talk. Try to listen to them without judgement, keep conversations private, and welcome different ways they might want to express themselves, such as through writing or art. This can be difficult at times, especially when you’re carrying your own hurt, but small steps towards connection can make a big difference.
Gaining more knowledge of the illness can help with future acceptance. Reading recovery-related literature, listening to podcasts or watching YouTube-related content can assist with understanding.
Behaviours to avoid
Don’t expect them to adjust to ‘normal life’ straightaway – recovery is a gradual process that takes time, and everyone’s path is unique. Try to keep life as steady and consistent as possible when they return home. Maintaining your usual routines can provide a sense of stability, while also giving them the space and time they need to ease back into daily life at their own pace.
While it may be natural for you to want to help them, it’s important to balance this with respect for their independence. Giving them the space to make decisions and take ownership of their recovery can help build their confidence and sense of control. It’s completely understandable if this brings up feelings of fear or mistrust – what matters is that you’re able to share these feelings honestly and openly, without blame. Keeping the lines of communication clear and compassionate can help you both feel heard and supported.
Look after yourself too
Supporting a loved one who struggles with addiction is emotionally challenging, so it’s important you look after yourself too. Consider getting therapy, joining a family support group, learning more about addiction and setting aside some time for yourself. Looking after your own mental health means you can continue being a strong and supportive presence for them.
Supporting someone in recovery shouldn’t just fall to one person. Wherever possible, try to work together as a family to share tasks and emotional support, ensuring no-one feels overwhelmed or exhausted.
Make sure to prioritise your own wellbeing and self-care too – something that may have felt impossible while your loved one was in active addiction. Let them know that you also need time and space to heal, and keep those lines of communication open as you both move forward.
What to expect when someone comes home from rehab
Coming home can bring emotional and behavioural changes that may take time to adjust to. Understanding these challenges and knowing how to respond can help create a supportive environment for your loved one.
Emotional and behavioural changes
Recovery can bring emotional ups and downs as your loved one gets used to life outside of rehab. Some common changes include:
- Mood swings or increased sensitivity - it’s normal for them to experience emotional highs and lows. They may feel frustrated, anxious or overwhelmed at times - and it’s completely natural for you to experience those feelings too
- A need for personal boundaries - your loved one may want more independence or time alone to process their emotions, which is a healthy and important part of recovery. They might also choose to spend more time attending therapy or support groups, all of which can help them stay on track
Adjustment period
It’s important to approach your loved one’s return from rehab with realistic expectations. Keep in mind:
- Rebuilding routines can take effort - daily tasks that once seemed simple, like getting up and going to bed at a consistent time, or preparing meals, may feel overwhelming for them at first
- Social dynamics may change - relationships with family and friends may take time to rebuild, especially if your loved one’s past behaviours caused tension
- They may not feel ready to attend social or family gatherings soon after rehab – and that’s OK. Choosing to prioritise their recovery in this way is a positive step and shows they’re committed to the programme they’ve started
Relapse risks and prevention
Relapse can be part of the recovery process. While it can be discouraging, it doesn’t mean your loved one has ‘failed’, so it should be met with understanding rather than blame. Identifying possible triggers and encouraging healthy ways to cope can help lower the risk of relapse. It’s important to understand that:
- Triggers may arise unexpectedly - stress, social situations, or even certain places or people can bring up cravings
- Relapse often happens when someone stops doing the things that were helping them stay clean and well. If a relapse occurs, try to support your loved one by calmly reviewing what might have changed.
- Remember, a relapse doesn’t mean failure - if a relapse happens, it’s important to focus on getting back on track rather than dwelling on it
Preparing for someone to come home from rehab
There are a number of things you can do to prepare for someone to come home from rehab.
Home environment
The home environment plays an important role in helping your loved one feel safe, supported and focused on their recovery. Creating a calm and stable space can help reinforce the progress they’ve made and reduce the risk of setbacks.
One way to support this is by removing potential triggers from the home. This might include alcohol, drugs or items associated with past substance use – such as drug paraphernalia, leftover prescription medications, shot glasses, or even phone numbers of drug dealers stored on devices. These reminders can evoke strong emotional responses or cravings, even if unintentionally.
If you're not comfortable clearing these items yourself, consider asking someone you trust to help. And if something is accidentally missed and causes distress or a setback, remind yourself that you’re not responsible for this. You’re doing your best to create a supportive environment – and that, in itself, is a powerful step.
Set rules and boundaries
Clear boundaries and expectations can help your loved one feel secure and provide structure as they adjust to life at home:
Involving your loved one in simple routines, like household chores or regular mealtimes, can bring structure and stability during recovery. Consider boundaries like curfews, check-ins or drug screens if they leave the house, but from a place of support, to allow you to maintain trust and open communication.
Stay flexible with expectations, especially if they’re struggling early on. Gently encourage progress without overwhelming them, starting small and building up. A balanced, compassionate approach can help them regain confidence.
Manage expectations
Returning home from rehab can be a big adjustment for everyone involved. Being realistic about the transition can help prevent frustration and misunderstandings:
- Be realistic and patient - recovery is a process, and your loved one may need time to rebuild their confidence. Be patient and understanding as they find their way. If you find yourself struggling with this, that’s completely understandable. You’ve been through a lot too, and it’s important you have the support and space to process your own experience
- Prepare for potential challenges – struggling to get back into daily routines or dealing with difficult emotions are common. Recognising these challenges in advance can help you respond with patience and support
- If you feel comfortable, it can be helpful to learn more about addiction as an illness, and to explore what your loved one has come to understand during their time in rehab. Gaining insight into their journey and what they need to stay clean and sober can strengthen your support for them. That said, this is entirely your choice – it can be valuable, but you shouldn’t feel any pressure to take this on if it doesn’t feel right for you
FAQs
What should I do if my loved one relapses?
If your loved one relapses, try to stay calm and avoid reacting with blame, anger or disappointment. Relapses can happen but it doesn’t mean they’ve failed. Encourage them to get support, whether this is from a therapist, a 12-step support group or their aftercare programme. Reassure them they can get back on track and remind them of the progress they’ve already made. Setbacks and a relapse don’t undo the clean time they achieved.
How do I rebuild trust with my loved one after rehab?
Rebuilding trust after rehab takes time and patience from both sides. Start with honest, supportive conversations and set clear but fair boundaries to create a sense of security. Let your loved one show their commitment through consistent actions, like attending therapy or sticking to their aftercare plan.
Trust is rebuilt gradually, so focus on steady progress and reconnecting step by step, rather than expecting things to go back to how they were overnight. It’s OK if you don’t feel able to trust them straight away. You may be carrying feelings of worry, resentment, anxiety or exhaustion – all of which are valid after what you’ve been through. It’s important to remember that your emotions won’t cause them to relapse; relapse happens when someone stops following their recovery and relapse prevention plan. Their choices remain their own, and your role is simply to be supportive while also looking after your own wellbeing.